5 Red Flags Women Mistake for Chemistry | anxious attachment dating

Written By Phoenix Coaching
woman and man dating with anxious attachment

Don’t confuse these red flags in dating for real chemistry!!

Becoming Badass Podcast Ep #30

Why Smart, Amazing Women Keep Getting Hooked on the Wrong Men

If you've ever felt a strong pull toward someone—even when something felt off—you’re not alone.

In this episode of Becoming Badass, we're talking about the 5 relationship red flags that many smart, sucessful women confuse for chemistry. These are the subtle signs that feel thrilling at first... but can quietly lead to emotional unavailability, inconsistency, or toxic dynamics.

Spoiler: it's not your fault. It’s often your nervous system, your attachment patterns, and your past conditioning.

🎧 Listen to the Episode

❤️‍🔥 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

  • Why the “spark” you feel isn’t always a green flag

  • I tell you why, when you have anxious attachment and your dating, THIS one thing makes it nearly impossible to hear your intuition

  • How unresolved trauma can make unhealthy patterns feel familiar (and magnetic)

  • The real reason you keep chasing emotionally unavailable men

  • Why intensity can mimic intimacy—and how to tell the difference

  • The shift you need to make to attract secure, emotionally available love

🛑 The 5 Red Flags Women Mistake for Chemistry

  1. Hot and Cold Behavior
    If his attention flips between intense and distant, it can feel intoxicating—but it's actually emotional unpredictability, not true connection.

  2. Feeling Butterflies
    We’ve romanticized anxiety as excitement. Real chemistry isn’t supposed to feel like walking on eggshells.

  3. Over-Compliments Early On
    When someone pours on the flattery or talks about your future too soon, it may not be sincere—it could be love-bombing.

  4. Feeling Like You Have to “Earn” His Attention
    If you’re working hard for crumbs of connection, it’s not passion—it’s a trauma bond waiting to happen.

  5. Instant, Intense Connection Without Depth
    It’s easy to confuse familiarity or drama with depth. Real emotional intimacy is slower, safer, and more sustainable.

💬 Why This Matters

So many smart, strong, and sucessful women stay stuck in relationship patterns that leave them second-guessing themselves. It’s not because they’re broken—it’s because their blueprint for love was wired to seek survival over safety.

But here’s the good news: you can rewrite that pattern.

It starts with awareness. And this episode is a powerful first step.

🔍 Ready to Find Out Your Hidden Pattern?

👉Take the free quiz to Unlock your Love Blueprint. Take the quiz here!
Discover the subconscious pattern driving your relationship choices—and how to shift it so you can attract secure, emotionally connected love without chasing or losing yourself.

💬 Share the Love:

If this episode hit home, screenshot it and tag me on IG @phoenix___coaching, Id love to hear your biggest takeaway.

And if you're tired of feeling like you're “too much,” “not enough,” or always performing for love… it’s time to stop chasing and start choosing.

💖 You deserve love that feels:

  • Safe, not chaotic

  • Steady, not like you’re always chasing

  • Soul-deep, not one-sided

🔍 Want to Know Your Blocks To Real Love?

Take my free 60-second quiz to discover the hidden pattern driving your love life—and how to finally shift it. Discover the hidden wounds that drive overgiving, insecurity, and self-doubt — and how to finally feel secure, worthy, and magnetic to the love you truly deserve (without chasing or losing yourself)!

👉 Take the “What’s Your Love Blueprint?” Quiz

💖 Subscribe to the podcast for more weekly soul-nourishing relationship truths

📩Grab my free guide: Stop Chasing Love and Start Receiving it! https://phoenixcoaching.ck.page.ch


📞 Ready for deeper support? Book a Real Love Clarity Call if you're ready to reset your love blueprint.

You’re not too much. You’re not too sensitive. And you don’t have to keep earning love.
Let’s help you feel safe, seen, and fully chosen in the kind of relationship you truly deserve.

✨ With love,

Phoenix

PRIVATE COACHING:  

For Women:  Real love doesnt keep you guessing or confused. Ready to feel safe, seen, and secure in love?  Chat with me for FREE here: https://sabrinaphoenixcoaching.com/coach1-1

For Men: You Don’t Have to Keep Carrying It Alone. Reconnect with your emotions, repair what’s broken, and lead from grounded strength. Chat with me for FREE here:  https://sabrinaphoenixcoaching.com/coach1-2

 


FREE RESOURCES:  

What’s your Love Blueprint? Take the quiz here!

GO FROM CONFLICT TO CALM IN YOUR LOVE LIFE! Break the cycle of anxious overthinking and second-guessing—learn how to feel safe, grounded, and confident in love -without losing yourself- https://phoenixcoaching.ck.page

 

JOIN ME LIVE ON (most) THURSDAYS AT 6PM CT

Connect with me on YT Live : YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@Phoenix_Coaching



Listen to Previous Episodes


#EmotionallyUnavailableMen #RelationshipPatterns #Attachment Wounds #ToxicRelationships #Codependency #SelfWorthHealing #securerelationships #peoplepleasinginrelationships #feminineenergyandlove #anxiousattachment #anxiousinlove #anxiousattachmentstyle #highvalue #highvalueman #highvaluewoman

Phoenix Coaching

https://SabrinaPhoenixCoaching.com
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