woman exhausted from overgiving in her relationship and wanting her needs to be met

Becoming Badass Podcast Ep #33

Here’s 3 Sneaky Signs You’re Doing Too Much in Your Relationship. Learn how to stop overgiving and start recieving.

You’re smart. Successful. Self-aware. You’ve done the work, read the books, and probably been the “rock” for everyone around you.

And yet… in your relationships, you still find yourself emotionally exhausted, doing the heavy lifting, and wondering why love feels so hard.

If that sounds familiar, this week’s podcast episode is for you.

In “3 Sneaky Signs You’re Doing Too Much in Your Relationship (and What to Do Instead),” I’m unpacking the subtle, often overlooked ways high-achieving women overgive in their relationship without even realizing it—and how those habits keep you stuck attracting emotionally unavailable or under-functioning partners.

Why Overgiving Is So Hard to See

Let’s be honest: women are often praised for being supportive, loyal, selfless, and nurturing.

But here’s the truth: overgiving isn’t loving—it’s leaking.

When you’re constantly the one reaching out, checking in, planning the dates, making the emotional repairs, and explaining how to love you… you’re not in partnership—you’re parenting.

And even worse? Most high-functioning women don’t realize they’re doing it.

Because it’s not always obvious. It’s sneaky. It hides behind phrases like:

“I’m just being understanding.”
“He’s going through a lot right now.”
“If I don’t do it, it won’t get done.”

Sound familiar?

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

🎧 Listen to the episode below

In this 20-minute episode, I break down 3 subtle ways overgiving shows up—especially for driven, emotionally intelligent women—and how it keeps you feeling unseen, unmet, and emotionally drained.

🔹 Sneaky Sign #1: You’re Always “Holding Space”… But No One’s Holding It for You

You’re the emotional anchor, always listening, supporting, and trying to understand where he’s coming from—even when he hasn’t earned that level of access or investment.

What starts as empathy turns into self-abandonment when you’re holding space for someone who can’t (or won’t) do the same for you.

🔹 Sneaky Sign #2: You Apologize for Having Needs

You downplay your feelings. You over-explain your boundaries. You don’t want to come off as “needy” or “too much,” so you tiptoe, sugarcoat, or stay quiet—even when something hurts.

This is emotional contortion. And it’s not love. It’s survival mode.

🔹 Sneaky Sign #3: You Feel Like the Relationship’s Caretaker

You’re the one initiating hard conversations, managing conflict, bringing awareness to emotional blind spots, and constantly trying to “make things better.”

You’ve become the project manager of the relationship. But love shouldn’t feel like a full-time job.

This will lead to emotional burnout in love and this not only hurts you, it hurts your relationship!

Why This Matters: Overgiving Blocks Real Intimacy so it’s VITAL to learn how to stop overgiving in your relationships!

Here’s what I want every woman to know:

👉 Doing more doesn’t get you chosen.
👉 Being understanding won’t create emotional safety.
👉 Love doesn’t require performance. It requires presence.

When you’re overgiving, you’re sending the message (energetically and emotionally) that your worth comes from what you do, fix, or offer—not from who you are.

And that’s a recipe for resentment, burnout, and chasing emotionally unavailable men.

What to Do Instead: Choose You First

In the episode, I share simple but powerful shifts you can make to:

Stop performing for love and start receiving it
Identify where you're emotionally overfunctioning
Reclaim your energy and start creating relationships rooted in mutuality, safety, and reciprocity

This isn’t about becoming cold, harsh, or detached. It’s about becoming anchored in your worth—so love can finally feel safe and mutual.

Because secure love doesn’t require you to lose yourself to keep it.

Real Talk: I’ve Been There

There was a time in my life when I thought love meant effort. If I just tried harder, communicated better, made things easier for him… then I’d be loved fully.

But it never worked.

I felt unseen, undervalued, and emotionally starved—even while doing “everything right.”

And I see the same pattern in so many of the women I work with: brilliant, successful, emotionally aware women who are exhausted from doing all the emotional work in their relationships.

If that’s you—I want you to know: It’s not your fault. But it is your time to heal.

Tune In + Take Back Your Power

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much” or “not enough” at the same time…
If you’re tired of overgiving and still not getting your needs met…
If you want a relationship where you don’t have to earn love—you just get to be loved…

Then this episode is your starting point.

🎧 Tap to listen now:
👉 3 Sneaky Signs You’re Doing Too Much in Your Relationship

✨ And if it hits home? Share it with a friend, or drop me a DM. I love hearing what lands and tag me on IG @phoenix___coaching, Id love to hear your biggest takeaway.

Bonus: Want to Know If He’s Actually Emotionally Available?

If you’re tired of wondering whether he’s genuine or just saying the right things, grab my free guide:
👉 Is He Emotionally Available—Or Just Saying the Right Things?

You’ll learn how to spot red flags before you get attached.

👉Take the free quiz to Unlock Your Love Blueprint!
Discover the subconscious pattern driving your relationship choices—and how to shift it so you can attract secure, emotionally connected love without chasing or losing yourself.

💖 Subscribe to the podcast for more weekly soul-nourishing relationship truths on youtube.

Final Thoughts

You deserve a love that feels safe, reciprocal, and real—not one where you constantly have to earn your place.

It starts with recognizing where you’re doing too much…
And giving yourself permission to do less, receive more, and be loved as you are.

Let’s stop overgiving and start receiving

✨ With love,

Phoenix

PRIVATE COACHING:

You deserve love that feels:

Safe and secure, not lonely or hot and cold
Steady, not like you’re always chasing
Soul-deep, not one-sided
For Women: Real love doesnt keep you guessing or confused. Ready to feel safe, seen, and secure in love? Chat with me for FREE here: https://sabrinaphoenixcoaching.com/coach1-1

For Men: You Don’t Have to Keep Carrying It Alone. Reconnect with your emotions, repair what’s broken, and lead from grounded strength. Chat with me for FREE here: https://sabrinaphoenixcoaching.com/coach1-2

FREE RESOURCES:

What’s your Love Blueprint? Take the quiz here!

GO FROM CONFLICT TO CALM IN YOUR LOVE LIFE! Break the cycle of anxious overthinking and second-guessing—learn how to feel safe, grounded, and confident in love -without losing yourself- https://phoenixcoaching.ck.page

Listen to Previous Episodes

#EmotionallyUnavailableMen #RelationshipPatterns #Attachment Wounds #ToxicRelationships #Codependency #SelfWorthHealing #securerelationships #peoplepleasinginrelationships #feminineenergyandlove #anxiousattachment #anxiousinlove #anxiousattachmentstyle #highvalue #highvalueman #highvaluewoman #overgivinginrelationships #howtostopovergiving

Are You Overgiving Without Realizing It? ( And how to stop overgiving!)