couple where the woman is always caring too much and feels exhausted

Becoming Badass Podcast Ep #34

Have you ever felt like you were doing all the emotional heavy lifting in your relationship??
Like you’re always the one reaching out, fixing the problems, or holding things together — while they stay distant, distracted, or just not as invested?

If so, you’re not alone — and more importantly, you’re not crazy, needy, or too much.
There’s a deeper reason why you keep ending up in relationships where you care more… and once you understand it, everything begins to shift.

In this post, we’re diving into why love feels so one-sided when you’re smart, self-aware, and doing the work — and what to do if you’re tired of always being the one who gives more than she gets.

The Hidden Pattern Behind Caring Too Much

If you're constantly the one initiating, overthinking, or hoping they’ll change…
It's not just bad luck or bad timing.

It’s likely rooted in something I call your Subconscious Love Blueprint — a deep, often unspoken pattern based on how love, safety, and connection were wired into your nervous system early on.

When you have a blueprint that associates love with proving your worth, overfunctioning, or being the fixer, you’ll unconsciously gravitate toward people who require that kind of effort… and mistake it for intimacy.

Sound familiar?

You’re the one who always texts first
You’re constantly analyzing what went wrong
You feel exhausted but still can’t seem to walk away
You wonder why you're always “too much” for them — but never enough to feel fully chosen

This pattern plays out especially for hard working, in women who are used to handling it all — career, emotions, family — and unknowingly carry that same energy into love.

Why You Keep Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Partners

Here’s the hard truth with a compassionate twist:
Emotionally unavailable people feel “safe” to a nervous system that associates love with distance.

You might not want someone who pulls away…
But if you grew up having to earn love, soothe chaos, or be the emotional anchor, your body learned to associate effort with connection.

So when someone is calm, available, and consistent — it might actually feel boring or unfamiliar.
And when someone is inconsistent, hot and cold, or makes you chase… that might feel more like “chemistry.”

This is what keeps you stuck in a cycle of giving more than you receive — and blaming yourself for not being “secure enough” when in reality, you’re reacting to a dynamic that requires your overgiving to survive.

The Cost of Always Caring More

Who’s always caring too much:

You lose trust in yourself
You second-guess your needs
You feel resentful, but guilty for having boundaries
You slowly shrink your voice to keep the peace

And over time, this erodes not just your relationships — but your self-worth.

But here's the good news:
You don’t have to keep over-functioning to feel loved.

How to Break the Pattern (Without Going Cold or Detached)

The answer isn’t to become hard, guarded, or pretend you don’t care.
It’s to rebuild a relationship with yourself where:

Your feelings are valid
Your nervous system feels safe in slowness
You know how to receive without guilt
You choose love from a place of being, not performing

This shift isn’t about playing games.
It’s about becoming the version of you who no longer chases breadcrumbs — because you know how to give yourself the feast.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

🎧 Listen to the episode below

Real Talk: I’ve Been There

There was a time in my life when I thought love meant effort. If I just tried harder, communicated better, made things easier for him… then I’d be loved fully.

But it never worked.

I felt unseen, undervalued, and emotionally starved—even while doing “everything right.”

And I see the same pattern in so many of the women I work with: brilliant, successful, emotionally aware women who are exhausted from doing all the emotional work in their relationships.

If that’s you—I want you to know: It’s not your fault. But it is your time to heal.

Related Episodes

If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much” or “not enough” at the same time…
If you’re tired of overgiving and still not getting your needs met…
If you want a relationship where you don’t have to earn love—you just get to be loved…

Then this episode is your starting point.

🎧 Tap to listen now:
👉 3 Sneaky Signs You’re Doing Too Much in Your Relationship

✨ And if it hits home? Share it with a friend, or drop me a DM. I love hearing what lands and tag me on IG @phoenix___coaching, Id love to hear your biggest takeaway.

Bonus: Want to Know If He’s Actually Emotionally Available?

If this hits home, here’s what I recommend:

✨ Take the free 60-second quiz: What’s Your Love Blueprint?
Discover the subconscious pattern that’s shaping your relationships — and how to shift it.

🎯 Bonus: After the quiz, you’ll get personalized insight and a free training to help you attract the emotionally available, soul-connected relationship you actually want.

If you’re tired of wondering whether he’s genuine or just saying the right things, grab my free guide:
👉 Is He Emotionally Available—Or Just Saying the Right Things?

You’ll learn how to spot red flags before you get attached or waste any more of your precious time on the WRONG man!

💖 Subscribe to the podcast for more weekly soul-nourishing relationship truths on youtube.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to keep doing the most just to feel “enough.”
You’re not too much. You’re not unlovable. You’ve just been stuck in a pattern that made love feel like a performance.

And now? It’s time to stop shrinking, start choosing, and create the kind of love that feels like home — not hard work.

You deserve a love that feels safe, reciprocal, and real—not one where you constantly have to earn your place.

It starts with recognizing where you’re doing too much…
And giving yourself permission to do less, receive more, and be loved as you are.

Let’s stop overgiving and start receiving

✨ With love,

Phoenix

PRIVATE COACHING:

You deserve love that feels:

Safe and secure, not lonely or hot and cold
Steady, not like you’re always chasing
Soul-deep, not one-sided
For Women: Real love doesnt keep you guessing or confused. Ready to feel safe, seen, and secure in love? Chat with me for FREE here: https://sabrinaphoenixcoaching.com/coach1-1

For Men: You Don’t Have to Keep Carrying It Alone. Reconnect with your emotions, repair what’s broken, and lead from grounded strength. Chat with me for FREE here: https://sabrinaphoenixcoaching.com/coach1-2

FREE RESOURCES:

What’s your Love Blueprint? Take the quiz here!

GO FROM CONFLICT TO CALM IN YOUR LOVE LIFE! Break the cycle of anxious overthinking and second-guessing—learn how to feel safe, grounded, and confident in love -without losing yourself- https://phoenixcoaching.ck.page

Listen to Previous Episodes

#overgiving #caringtoomuch #relationshipburnout #relationshipexhaustion #overfunctioning #anxiousattachmentstyle #anxiousattachmenthealing #EmotionallyUnavailableMen #RelationshipPatterns #Attachment Wounds #ToxicRelationships #Codependency #SelfWorthHealing #securerelationships #peoplepleasinginrelationships #feminineenergyandlove #anxiousattachment #anxiousinlove #anxiousattachmentstyle #highvalue #highvalueman #highvaluewoman #overgivinginrelationships #howtostopovergiving #highfunctioningcodependency

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