Was My Ex A Narcissist? How to know for sure!

After a toxic, crazy-making relationship, it’s only normal to wonder this.

Was my ex a narcissist?

When you’ve been through the mind-bending, soul-sucking whirlwind of a narcissist (or someone deeply emotionally unavailable), you often end up feeling blamed for everything, doubting yourself, and left utterly confused. So if you’ve been asking yourself “Was my ex a narcissist?” — you’re not alone.




The Blood-Red Flags

Looking back, there were probably plenty of red flags. But when you’re caught up in the spell of love-bombing, manipulation, and the illusion of “perfect love,” it’s almost impossible to see clearly.

I know, because I spent 10 years in a relationship with a covert narcissist. On the outside, everything looked fine… but inside, I was slowly losing myself and my reality.




How Do You Really Know?

The truth is, you don’t want to just guess. Because what happens if they come back? The cycle starts all over again — the love-bombing, the gaslighting, the blame-shifting.

That’s why clarity is everything.

And here’s the thing: not everyone who left you drained, doubting yourself, or doing all the emotional labor is necessarily a narcissist. Sometimes they’re simply emotionally unavailable or toxic in other ways. But either way — the damage to your self-worth feels the same.




Take the Toxic or Unavailable Quiz

Step 1: Get Clarity

If you’ve been left wondering, “Was it them? Or is it me?” this quiz will give you answers and clarity.

Take the Toxic or Unavailable Quiz here

You’ll uncover whether you were dealing with a narcissist, an emotionally unavailable partner, or another toxic pattern — and most importantly, what to do next so you never get stuck in this cycle again.

No matter what your results are, please know this: you can heal. You can rebuild your confidence, reclaim your power, and create the kind of love you actually deserve.

Is He Toxic ... or Just Unavailable?

  • Spot the difference between unhealthy, toxic patterns & emotional unavailability
  • Understand why you feel so drained and unseen & why it's not your fault
  • Stop second-guessing yourself & start trusting your intuition
  • Protect your energy and take first step to the real love you deserve

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    Healing After Narcissistic or Toxic Love

    Step 2: Heal in the Easiest and Quickest Way Possible

    I don’t say this lightly: this method completely changed my life. It’s the #1 tool I recommend to anyone stuck in a toxic or narcissistic relationship, because it accelerates healing in a way nothing else has.

    Instead of years (or even a lifetime) of trying to piece it all together on your own, this program can collapse that timeline into just a few months — if you’re ready to do the work.

    I’ve used it to heal from gaslighting, invalidation, and the deep wounds of my childhood. And even today, I still lean on these tools whenever I get triggered or hit a hard moment. It works — every single time.

    The Coach and Creator of this method Mel, knows this path inside and out because she lived it. She’s not just teaching theory — she’s walked through narcissistic abuse herself and created a proven roadmap for freedom and lasting healing.

    This program didn’t just help me recover — it leveled up my entire life. I’m stronger, more grounded, and immune to narcissists for good.

    👉 Checkout the Program Here — and take the next step toward becoming confident, free, and unshakably whole.








    Some of the links on this page are affiliate links. This means if you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission — at no extra cost to you. I only recommend programs, products, and tools I personally use, love, and trust.






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    How to Stop Being Clingy and Needy